Santosha

Santosha:
 Contentment; being satisfied with the resources at hand - therefore not desiring more

As we enter the season of gratitude and thanksgiving we can also find Santosha. When we find gratitude for what is we can also find contentment.

It's easy to always want more as it's part of the human condition. And, although striving for a goal or to desire more is healthy and encouraged it's even more so to be content with what is. After all, right now is truly all we have. The past and the future only exist within our minds. They are merely stories we tell and create. Right now is all that exists.

When we find gratitude and contentment in the present moment, suffering of what should be or what could have been disappears. When suffering disappears the worries of the future do as well and if we can  continue to hold that space of energy the future moment shifts as well.

I find that when I start to worry of what could be and then become present to the abundance of the present  I can proceed with my goals of the future with joy. This is far more beneficial that anxiety when approaching something new.

My life is currently shifting as I transition from performing full time to teaching yoga and writing full time. At times I can get caught up with worries of the money or how is every thing going to work out. But when I look around at my present moment I find peace. I can enjoy my sound of the breeze and the new autumn chill. I can enjoy my husband and his passion for soccer as I hear  him yell at the game he is watching as I write my blog. I can enjoy the way my kitty snuggles up to me and shows me unconditional love. Everything is just as it should be. After all, right now is all we have and in a moment this too shall pass.

So why not enrich your life with finding gratitude and contentment for what is with no stories of the past or future. Then, watch how your perspective shifts.

What can you let go of to find Santosha right now?

Pause

Ever take a moment to pause life and look around in the moment?

In Yoga we teach to become present to what is, being the breath, the mind, the body or how one is feeling. When we practice this daily it starts to shift our every day life as we become ever present to the moment that is. It's absolute magic when you can consciously pause in the moment to take it all in.

Last night was my last show in the production I have been in for the last two years. Each number I performed I consciously took it in allowing myself to enjoy what I was doing where I was doing it. The lights shined bright, the music was loud. The energy of the crowd was high and so the was the cast's. I tapped into how my body felt as I danced across the stage and how my soul felt as I sang my heart out. I even enjoyed watching my cast mates do the same thing. A lot of the time I don't pay particular attention to what they are doing or how they are doing it but last night I did. It was beautiful.

We all go to the theater night after night performing the same show. Muscle memory plays a big part when repeating each night but every now and then the right combination of elements come together the divine will come through one of us as we perform. We live for the thrill of being on stage even if it means having to smile through the hard times. Death was ever present over the last 2 years as cast members lost family and experienced  injuries but we all pushed through smiling through the pain. The crowd would never know since it's our job to help them forget theirs and we are happy to do so. Even those moments I was able to pause to look around and acknowledge just how strong performers are.

When I first started this gig I had the same moments of pause as I became present to "I'm living my dream". It was during the production of "My Way" by Frank Sinatra that allowed that moment of reflection. Last night as I sang it for the last time I was able to acknowledge I am about to embark on a new journey and that I can say goodbye to this chapter with peace. I enjoyed the colors, the sounds, the smells, the people and the feeling. It was magic.


When was the last time you took a moment to pause and experienced something beautiful? I would be so grateful to hear from you!

The Odd Duck in the Room

Day 6 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge (www.alexbeadon.com)

It's October. I'm eighteen. I have 2 garbage bags full of clothes and few personal items packed in my blue 89' Chevy S10. My cat Paige is sitting on top of the seat bathing in the sun as I drive away from my tiny town in MI for the glitz and glam of Las Vegas. Everyone had their bets in as to when I would call home crying and turn around to come home. I couldn't help but laugh at them because I knew that was never going to happen. I was tougher than they thought and I was out to prove it.

I arrived in the shiny city after midnight three days later. I was exhausted from sleeping in my truck for two nights since I wanted to save money. After all I only had $800 to create my life 2000 miles away from home. Luckily I had already paid for my first months rent for the apartment I was now trying to find.

As I drove up to my new home and took a look around I realized it wasn't in the best of areas. The woman I spoke to over the phone a month earlier clearly lied to me to get the sale. Since I didn't have the keys yet I had to sleep one more night in the parking lot. This time in the ghetto.

Fast forward... I have been living there almost two months. I was lucky enough to find a job right away at a metaphysical bookstore called the Psychic Eye where I set up appointments for the Phychic's and did retail for the store. I only made $5.75 an hour but I loved it. I studied a lot and left every day smelling like Nag Champa incense. 

I was running out of money fast and my job wasn't cutting it. It was time to get into action with why I had come here. In the mean time I was starving, surviving on ritz crackers with peanut butter and jelly and Ramen Noodles. Of course, I was too proud to ask for help. I had no idea how to find auditions since the newspaper was clearly not it considering all the "performer" jobs in the classifieds were for a different kind of dancer if you know what I mean. So, I took it into my own hands and called every hotel on the strip with a show in it asking the front desk to put me through to HR. Once I got a hold of someone there I would ask to speak to the person in charge of the show in their hotel. Interesting enough this was quite effective. I booked three auditions that day.

The  producer of Jubilee (one of the biggest showgirl shows on the strip) gave me a date and time for my first audition and told me to come with hair and makeup ready dressed in proper attire. The audition was a few days later at 10am. I drove to the nearest dance attire store and told the man at the counter I was auditioning for Jubilee and needed the proper dance wear. "Where you from kid?' , the man asked. He obviously could tell I was inexperienced and not from around here. "Michigan", I replied. He just smiled while shaking his head and proceeded to hand me the "proper attire" for my first big audition. "Here ya go".

I looked down to see a tiny thong, a bra top and fishnets. "That's it?!" I replied.
"yup", he said. He was an older gentleman of few words. As I continued to look around I found a traditional black ballet leotard that would cover my belly and booty. "what about this?, I asked. He just shook his head again. It was plain to see the answer was no but I got it any way along with his suggestion using up the last of my money.

Fast forward again... I'm at the audition located inside the Jubilee theater. It's enormous and the stage is the biggest I've ever seen. The isles are filled with gorgeous 5'10" girls in their thongs, bras and character heels and full hair and makeup. I had no idea I would have needed eye lashes so big they would blow in the wind. They were all stretching and practicing their extensions that reached far above their heads. I observed and joined in as I stretched in my own little corner of the room. I was very aware I was in over my head and to top it off I chose not to wear the thong and bra that were suggested to me. Instead I went with the full leotard. I felt like the odd duck in the room but still I held my head high and pretended I had done this before.

The first routine the dance captain taught was a ballet routine. I had only taken ballet for about three weeks so I strictly mimicked what they were doing not having a clue as to what they were saying. Surprisingly they kept me for the second call. For those they kept, we had to chaine across the stage, kick high and land in full splits. Again, I observed the girls in front of me glide across the stage spinning in an almost never ending turn, kicking high as they approached the other side of the stage and land in full splits. Considering I didn't even know what a chaine was until I was asked to do it I did pretty damn well doing exactly what it was that they asked. To my surprise they kept me a second time. The thrid routine was a sexy dance to Moulan Rouge. I thought I did pretty well but it was after that the producers finally cut me from the audition.

I'm not sure if they kept me just to see how far the weird girl could go, or if they kept me simply because I'm tall with big boobs or if I had actually done a good job but that was the beginning of my Vegas journey that would ultimately last eight years performing in shows and casinos. I eventually realized I wasn't a dancer. I was and always have been a singer but at the time I'd rather use use up all my resources, dance in a thong and make a fool of myself than sing in front of a crowd because to sing they wouldn't just see my body. They would see my soul.

Helpful Tip of The Day

Day 5 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge (www.alexbeadon.com)

Helpful Tip of the Day...

Do you find yourself feeling like you don't have enough time in the day? Do you find yourself stressed to achieve something in a short amount of time?

Here's the key..

Manage your time and make it into a game! This may seem simple enough because it is. It may take a little getting used to at first if your not used to it but once you get into the habit of it I promise it will change the way you look at time.

You'd be surprised how much time you have left to spare. Here's what you do.

Set a time limit for everything you do and stick to it. If you need to clean the house, run an errand or even do something creative, give yourself a time frame to finish. I've found when there is a time limit the more strategic I become. If you don't finish forgive yourself and move on or if you MUST, reorganize your time management to make it work. The idea is to make it into a game. Have fun while trying to complete your tasks under a time limit.

I know when I'm extremely busy teaching classes and running errands I can forget to eat so I will even schedule in meal breaks or rest breaks just to make sure I am taking care of myself and balancing things out. For the mommy's out there... you know what I'm talking about. Make sure you schedule alone time, even if it's five minutes to just breath.

Every time I have managed my time down to the minute I have found I can do much more than what I thought. At the end of the day I feel accomplished and content.

Start today and see what a difference managing your time down to the minute makes for you!

Let's Get Intimate

Day 4 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge by (www.alexbeadon.com)

10 Things You May Not Know About Me...

1. Aside from being in love with yoga and it's benefits I teach to remain present to the lessons I've learned other wise it's easy to fall back into old habits that don't serve me. 

2. I have a good habit of listening to my intuition but what people don't know is that even though I listen I'm still always scared. I cry when no one is around and pray I'm making the right choice. Even though it has never failed to work out in the end I still doubt myself. I just push through the fear.

3. I treat every interaction with the ones I love like it's going to be the last. I always make sure to say I love you and if there is an upset that it's resolved before I go. I've lost many friends at a young age to drugs, car accidents, suicide and even murder. I wasn't complete with all of them. I even had unresolved arguments with the one that was taken most tragically. I vowed to never let that happen again.

4. Death scares me. The fear of it has ruled my life even at a very young age. Making sure I live full. Making sure I have no regrets. Making sure those I love know I love them. This sounds great and it is but the fear of death is still profound.

5.  I relate to being more introverted. Although I'm a performer and very comfortable with being around people and having attention on me I need my time alone to "recharge" after a lot of interaction with others. I can spend days alone without human contact and be perfectly content.

6. I have dreams of having a full vegetable and herb garden but struggle keeping even the most simple plants alive.

7. I love fire hydrants! I think they look like little aliens and I enjoy taking pictures of them in every city I visit. I find that they are painted all kinds of unique ways.

8.I sing and/or dance when ever I'm feeling a strong emotion whether I'm happy or sad. I usually do this alone and have since I was a little girl. My life has always been a bit of a musical.

9. I feel and express love through physical touch and quality time.

10. Although I use my blog to communicate through vulnerability by sharing my stories and lessons this challenge was still confronting.

Your turn! Tell me some things about you... :)

A "Time Out" For Adults

Day 3 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge (www.alexbeadon.com)

Daily Meditation Tutorial

Before I start, let me point out this is a practice. It's a practice for anyone no matter what culture or religious background you may have. It's what I like to call a "time out" for adults.

First of all you need to have a space that is just for you when you want to meditate. I suggest pick a spot that is quiet and comfortable for you. I always sit on my back porch. I like to hear the rustling of the trees in the breeze and birds chirping. It's my happy place.

Second find a comfortable seat. You can sit in a chair or cross legged on the floor or on your knees. Sometimes I like to sit cross legged against a wall. It helps keep me sit upright without a lot of work. Your choice. Just make sure your comfortable.

As you find your seat sit up tall lengthening the spine while sending the crown of the head to the sky and allow the eyes to gently fall closed.

Once you are there you want to connect. So, check into the body first. Scan it mentally from head to toe to become present to what is there. Maybe your body feels tired or strong. Do you have any kinks or aches or pains. While your scanning become present to the way your body feels but don't dwell on it. Simply recognize it then let it go.

After you have become present of your physical body start to check into the mind. Recognize where your mental state is. Is it busy, loud or chatty. Is it calm, quiet or still? Again, wherever you are just recognize the thoughts and let them go. Our mind likes to latch on to thoughts and take us for a ride by creating stories so be present enough to not follow them. I like to think of thoughts as ocean waves crashing on the shore coming and going. Sometimes I even like to imagine putting my thoughts into bubbles and watch them float on by. Do whatever works for you.

 Once you have become present to the mind and body focus your attention on your breath. Again, don't change your breath just become present to where it is naturally is in the moment. Is is deep or shallow? Be mindful that there is nothing to do here but breath natural and recognize it. Do this for at least five breaths before moving on.

After you have become present to your breath consciously start to deepen the breath. Take a few deep breaths in the nose and out the mouth. This helps to calm the body a bit further. Then give your breath a count. Inhale 1-2-3-4-5 Exhale 1-2-3-4-5. Repeat this at least five times or as long as you like. When we focus on the count of our breath there is no room for any other thoughts. This work is gently calming the nervous system and the mind.

When you feel done with the breath work allow yourself to just be. Continue to sit there sitting upright with your eyes closed. Sitting still can be quite a challenge for some. It's perfectly natural to want to move or feel that there are things to get done. Your mind may wonder. Let it. Then see if you can catch it and come back to the present moment. Maybe tune in the the sounds around you.

 I suggest setting an alarm on your phone for 5 minutes to start. Then maybe you want to up it to 10 minutes or 20 minutes. Each time you sit to meditate the experience will be different. Why? Because each time you sit down you are different. Our emotional and physical state are in constant fluctuation. By meditating we bring ourselves back to center.

Toward the end of your practice create an intention for the rest of your day. Maybe it's love or compassion. It could be patience or curiosity. Set what feels right for you in the moment. I like to set this intention toward the end of meditation because I am more in tuned with what I need. I can hear my intuition clearer.  

Keep in mind you may not feel instant results. It's a practice which means it takes time. Don't feel you have to do 20-30 minutes to be successful. Just by taking 5 or 10 minutes to center yourself and "just be" that's all you need. If you're one of those people that say "I don't have 5 or 10 minutes to just sit down!". You may be in need of it the most.

I suggest picking what time works best for you and stick to it like ritual. I like to sit in the morning when I wake up. I find it's a good way start to my day. Again, do what works for you.

Happy meditation and Namaste!

The Story Behind My Passion

Day 2 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge (www.alexbeadon.com)

Self development and Yoga... They are one in the same really but I didn't know that seven years ago. They both came into my life at the same time and forever changed my life.

Let me give you a little background...

I've always been sensitive by nature even empathic if you will and I'll admit even dramatic. Guess that's why the arts have always been in my path. However, this sensitive nature didn't always serve me well because I always took things to heart. Sure there were other circumstances along the way that led me to believe I wasn't good enough but ultimately it was my choice to believe so. I suffered from depression, erratic emotional behavior and substance abuse. Constantly up and down never really being able to grip my grounding.

 Fast forward I'm in a relationship that I care about but find myself behaving inside these old habits. See, I believed if I had found someone that loved me all of these things would naturally fall away. So why was I still acting this way?

I started practicing yoga at my gym hoping the so called magical properties everyone was talking about would somehow "zen" me out. I went to my first class with high hopes and hated every minute of it. I thought I must DO something. I wasn't comfortable sitting still. I felt like I should be running or biking or doing something fast. I'm naturally flexible and athletic and didn't find the class I was in to be physically challenging enough. When the class ended I didn't plan on going back. I went in thinking it would calm me and left finding myself even more frustrated. After careful discussion with the friend that encouraged me to go in the first place I decided I would try another teacher.

 I went to a new class later that week and fell in love with the instructor. She taught Ashtanga Yoga which is a more athletic form of yoga. It was the physical practice I longed for while slowly connecting the self development work within. I started practicing 3-4 times a week. I remember the first time I did an arm balance pose. It took me three months. I was so proud of myself. It was then I really connected to, "anything worth it takes time and practice". My mind started to slow down and I was able to observe.

In the mean time even though something was opening up for me inside of my yoga practice I still couldn't quite take a hold of my emotional reactions. There was a deep hurt inside. I convinced myself there was something chemically wrong with me and since I'm smart I researched the internet to find similar cases so that I could go to the doctor and tell them I was bi-polar. Since there is no actual test for this just your word the Dr. didn't hesitate to give me medication. Looking back I think, "that was dangerous!"

These drugs alternate the chemical levels in your brain. The test for the which medication would be the right one was trial and error. I went through 3 medications before finding the one that made me the least sick or anxious or numb but taking medication brought on a whole new set of problems in my life. Not to mention myself and my relationship was still suffering.

Just as my relationship was about to end and I was on the self hatred train yet again a friend shared with us The Landmark Forum. It's a three day seminar that promises to awaken you to live a life you love by attaining what ever breakthroughs one wishes to have in life. I was very skeptical. I thought, I had tried everything. I  had already quit drinking and smoking. I had changed all of my friends, I practiced yoga, I read self development books and I still was getting the same results from broken feelings. How was this going to change my life in only three days?


Well, it did. I got my life back. For the first time in my life I had 100% accountability. It took some work after the seminar to clean up my life and I started with my family. I had blamed my circumstances and others for how I had turned out. When I was able to let go of the hurt and be accountable for how I handled each situation without blame, my life turned around. I stopped taking medication and have never needed to return to it. I got that I am perfect whole and complete just as I am. I continued my work with Landmark for 4 years after that. Each year becoming more connected to those in my life and getting more related to my family which made the world of difference. The better my relationship to my parents the better relationship to relationships I had.

The initial relationship I went to fix lasted a few more years until we peacefully broke it off to let one another go so that we could have what we really wanted. I wanted to travel and find someone who shared the same dream of having a family.Which I can say I successfully achieved as I now live happily married after meeting my husband on my travels in Italy and we are creating our life to make space for a little one.

During my years of training in self development with Landmark Education I also received my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training Certification. As I got deeper into my yoga practice over the years I realized Asana (the physical practice of yoga) is but a small portion of yoga. It's merely a tool to connect within for deeper meditation and connection to oneself and the universe.

The combination of this self work lead to a lifestyle that I love, adore and cherish. I realized the work I did in seminars and the work I did in yoga class were one in the same. They both taught the same principles but in different ways. The tools I have learned have saved my life and have helped me create a life I am truly passionate about. Because of this I have made it my life's work to share my learning's with others through yoga and other tools so that they too can connect and live a life they love. Of course I am still learning and growing but that's the beauty of it!

Namaste 


"Give back what you've learned. Share your experience." -Deng Ming-Dao

"Be the change you want to see." - Ghandi

Let's Get Related

Hi Everyone,
Today I am posting Day 1 of the Feel Good Blogger Challenge (alexbeadon.com). I am super excited to be a part of this community and looking forward to what opens up over the next 7 days. I normally post once a week like a column so posting daily will be a stretch for me but I love a challenge. Anything worth it takes work.

The first challenge post is to answer these 5 questions... I love these questions since it really gives new readers an opportunity to get to know who I am and what I'm about.So, let's get related!

1. Who am I?
At first I found this question challenging because my first reaction is to respond with what I do. I'm a blogger, yoga practitioner, yoga teacher, singer and world traveler. However if you strip all of this away I am still here. My essence my being is still here. So, looking at it from a more philosophical point of view I am everything/nothing. We are all interconnected which makes me everything and I am the space for which it's created equaling nothing. If I am everything/nothing I can be anything I want to be at any given moment. So, I declare you today I am love, compassion, inspiration and generosity and that's who I am.

2. Why did I start blogging?
Originally I started blogging as an outlet. As a performer I am always on stage but another passion of mine is self development and since I am constantly on the "self development train" I thought why not share what I've learned with others. It started as a hobby and although it still is it's also a way to connect to a greater community as a yoga teacher.

3. Who is this blog for?
This blog is for anyone that could use a dose of inspiration or "food for thought" to connect to themselves and live life full.

4. What am I currently most proud of?
Right now, I am most proud of how I have incorporated yogic principles into my everyday life. I've come down a long and rocky road and through lots of practice with these tools I can say I am able to handle my life with ease and grace as life is handed to me. I'm not perfect and I fail sometimes but I am proud of the confidence I have built to handle difficult or stressful situations.

5. What do I want viewers to walk away with?
For anyone that visits my blog I want them to walk away feeling inspired to live their life happy and full.

Defining Success

Someone once said "The life you live is the lesson you teach".

I couldn't agree more. This lesson however hasn't always been in the forefront of my mind as I've gone through life.  I haven't always thought of the trickle affect my actions and reactions have had on others. Only through experience and attained  humbled wisdom have I found accountability.

Recently my little sister (who's not so little anymore) called me to tell me she is writing a paper for her college course on an inspirational figure in her life and that she wanted to write it on me. She could have chosen a number of people in her life even a celebrity but to my surprise she choose me.

She told me I have always been there for her and always had the right thing to say to help her through her problems. She said the way I took chances in life and stepped through fear and rejection time and again inspired her and that she honored how I create my life even when others tell me it's not possible.

Her acknowledgment was so powerful I couldn't help but shed a few tears. I knew my little sister looked up to me but never to that degree. After hearing her talk about the influence I have on her life I couldn't help but think this is what success looks like.

For a long time I thought being famous and winning awards would make me successful. I even thought becoming rich would make me successful but after attaining a very small taste of my "so called" success I realized if I wasn't happy then there was no real success. I thought that alone was a breakthrough but after talking with my sister I truly understood that great success is positively affecting another person's life for the better. There is something even more beautiful about that person being family. I've always had a passion for this but hearing it from my sister touched me deeper than any other person I have helped before. It was exactly what I needed to hear as I am transitioning in life yet again. For that I am extremely grateful but even more than that,  knowing that I have been an influential figure in my little sisters life I can rest knowing I am already successful.


What does success look like to you and who can you acknowledge today?

The Unique That Is You

Have you ever been in a place where you feel that you don't belong? I know I have (many times).

 It started when I was small. My parents moved me from my tiny town to a broken city in MI. Although it wasn't until middle school I experienced prejudice for the first time. I was a tall, skinny white girl that developed early with a big nose. I was constantly made fun of until I decided "if I cant beat em', join em'"

 I added self tanner to my pale skin, braided my hair tightly, lined my lips in brown eyeliner and lined my eyes like a cat with black. I wore baggy close, pretended to smoke Newport cigarettes, talked a lot of trash and purposely got into trouble to go to detention. I was a good girl that got good grades and very insecure but being my nice self wasn't going to work in this school unless I wanted to get bullied. It was then my super "chameleon power" developed. I learned how to adapt to any environment (and I've moved a lot) by blending in . At least that's what I thought.

The truth is I seem to stick out like a sore thumb where ever I go. Eventually I learned to harness that by being a performer. Which is great however being a performer came with a whole new set of confrontations. Like, "How do I stand out from the rest of the unique performers so I get the job?"
 Which is interesting because we are already a group of people that stand out in a crowd but when gathered together we have to look even more "original". Which in return a person can find themselves very lost in who they are and the soul searching begins again.

My whole life seems to have been a battle to fit in while all the while rebelling that notion. Talk about an oxymoron!

But here's the real deal. Not everyone is going to like you. Some people may even be vindictive to you along the way. There will always be someone gossiping about you and you cannot please everyone. There are always going to be others that disagree with your point of view and there will always be people that want to see you fail. Yes this can hurt feelings but in the end you are the ultimate judge of yourself and most of the time our inner judge is way worse than anyone else can be.

We hear this as children.. Just be yourself. Unfortunatly that can get lost in translation as we grow into young adults trying to find our way and feel accepted. Even grown adults struggle with this. We all want to be accepted with open arms and feel loved. No matter what gender, race, or cultural background.

So next time you feel you don't fit in remember underneath it all we all suffer and we all want love. Therefore you fit in perfectly. So let your uniqueness shine bright no matter where you are. Give what you have to give and honor the uniqueness and light in others even if their actions or words seem to be poisonous. Any time a person lashes out it's because they too are hurting and if that person is you... forgive yourself, show yourself love and start over.



I'm not going to lie to you. All of this is much easier said than done. It's a practice just like yoga. We will all fall especially when trying something new. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
We are all inherently imperfect perfect beings. Just keep practicing and being the uniqueness that is you!

Let it go

Over the last week we have shifted into the season of letting go, Autumn. The trees start to gently let go of their leaves as they no longer serve a purpose to the upcoming season of winter. The leaves shift from vibrant greens to golds, reds, oranges and browns. Just as we recognize the leaves as beautiful while dying we too can find beauty and grace in letting go of what no longer serves us.

In yoga there is a term Aparigraha--Not Grasping
This is the concept of non-possessiveness or non-greediness.

Yes we can take this literally such as the owning and the accumulating of things but I like to think it also be refers to holding on to judgements and feelings. No matter which way you look at it this Yama is a beautiful intention to hold during this transitional period.

It's a time to reflect on what no longer serves you spiritually and emotionally as well as your personal belongings and let it go. Lets start to make space for that which serves us.

Happy Fall!!

Namaste

The Power of Intention

Today I want to talk about the power of setting intention for your day.

A few days ago I was uploading to my Instagram account with a yoga photo and a little "tid bit" about creating joy in each moment... in each task, in each interaction and each challenge. I thought this was pretty good as it was authentic to what I wanted to create in my day. Forty minutes later the photo had still not uploaded. I had pushed load so many times I lost count. Ironically I started to get upset. I think I even yelled at my phone (as if that was going to help). Then it hit me!! I was upset that my "Joy Intention" post wasn't posting. I couldn't help but laugh hysterically and share this story later with the yoga class I was teaching. 

It was perfect!

When we set intentions and keep them to ourselves we can easily forget or put it off to the side but when we declare it to others it becomes real. You cannot escape yourself once declared out loud. In this case I declared to FB and Instagram and later my class. It was because of this intention I had a fantastic day filled with joy. Sure I was challenged a couple times via instagram and later that day I noticed my bike was stolen. I reacted with upset at first then remembered the laughter I had created earlier that day through my intention of joy. I quickly let it go and found joy in the idea someone else may be enjoying the bike I barely used.

 The more joy I allowed myself to feel the more it spread to others.

Today I encourage you to set an intention for yourself (a way of being rather such as joyful, happy, loving, courageous, bold ect..) It's up to you.

What are you creating for your day??

The Art of Love

Anyone that knows me knows I LOVE love! To me its the most important thing in the world. I'm what you would call a hopeful romantic and always have been. When I was a young girl I looked at every crush with hopeful eyes that they would be some great love. As I grew, I filled with fear my heart would be broken (cause when you love so freely it's bound your heart will break). My heart broke time and time again. At some point I had given up on the outside but still dreamed secretly on the inside I would find that one true love.

Two years ago I met my match and not only gave my heart but my hand in marriage. It wasn't the wedding that was a dream come true but the ever present unconditional love two once strangers have for one another. 

In the fairy tales they describe the princess finding her prince and living "happily ever after"  but they never describe what that is exactly.Happily every after has to be created each day, each moment. Love is an art and your relationship is your canvas.

To love fully is to love someone for everything they are and everything they're not.  It's never assuming you know everything that there is to know about your partner. (Remember  to"ASSume makes an ass out of u and me".)

In the beginning of a relationship we are "wooed" by the other person, completely smitten. The art of falling in love is magical, seductive and fun. Eventually as the relationship progresses we get comfortable. That too is an art. Each stage of relationship to your love is a work of art and is beautiful. Just like painting a picture it takes courage to dare and be bold. It takes many colors from your pallet and it takes creativity, patience and practice.

 Being married or otherwise we all want to look like we are in the perfect relationship. We want to look like we never fight or don't have our own baggage to work through while our partner mirrors us even though we all know that every relationship has it's challenges.  If they didn't how would we grow individually and as a couple. I think it's important to embrace awareness in the beauty of these challenges with the person we love so dearly. Watch your love grow each time you overcome a challenge together.

As a fairly newly married woman I've experienced many challenges as I grow...
Like letting go of my attachment to my "old" self as I mature into a woman than I've not known myself to be. Like being a woman that can be a mother. Like being responsible for two instead of one and thinking about future investments. Like not being self righteous and learning to be humble. Like understanding it's not about me, it's about we.

We are all on this journey of love together as we all need it to nurture and grow. It's not always easy but it's always worth it. Let us always love to our fullest with every lover, friend and relative. Allow the challenges to help us grow and paint a masterpiece of love.

Breakdowns

A Breakdown.... What is it?

Some people when they are saying they are having a break down they may literally mean they are helpless, crying, screaming, upset or maybe even a deep dark depression. Today I would like to redefine breakdown the way I use it in my life. It may be a helpful tool for you the next time something goes dramatically wrong.

First lets define breakdown...

Breakdown according to the dictionary...

        Breakdown- a mechanical failure or malfunction
                            a failure of a relationship or system

I'd like to state a breakdown is ANYTHING you planned that doesn't go the way you said it would or doesn't go the way you trusted it to be. It can be as big as losing a job or as little as a miscommunication with a friend or depending on how you see it. 

So what do we do when we have a breakdown?

I'll be honest I'm better with handling the big breakdowns than I am the little ones and in past I didn't handle them at all. But over the years through my developmental studies and practice I've gotten better. I recently had a big breakdown in my life. Fortunately I stayed calm. I knew in this situation I didn't have time to lose it. 

Here are the steps I took...

1.  I reached out immediately to those it would affect to be in communication. 
2. Afterward I  reached out to those that could lift me up and see the positive in the situation. 
3. I knew then I had to let myself feel and react, so alone I gave myself space to let it all out, to feel and react. Be human.
4. I then made the choice to give myself the time to just be, meaning rest and be with friends. I gave myself a time line to do this before getting into action. (I feel it's important to get a clear head and nurture ourselves before pushing to the next thing. If we are exhausted or emotional our intention may be clouded to others when we are trying to recreate a situation). 
5. After I had given myself that time to recollect it was time to get into action. 
6. Create a plan and go. Reach out to your community. They are your strongest resource. Be honest and authentic. It's ok to reach out for help. 

Above all know that whatever it is you are challenged by is temporary and it is the road to your next big thing. Trust in yourself and trust in life and if you forget call the ones in your life that remember...

 

Living Adventurously

Living adventurously...

I love this statement but what does it mean? What comes up for you when reading these words? On the surface it could mean doing new things such as sky diving, scuba diving, bungee jumping, traveling or eating exotic foods. I say YES to all of that however I think living adventurously is more than what meets the surface.

Living adventurously is loving freely without expecting it in return, it's feeling fear and stepping through it, it's taking action and being willing to fail or look silly, it's speaking your truth, it's being accountable along the way and trying new things. Essentially living adventurously is being in the game instead of watching from the stands.



 Some may say this is easier said than done. I agree. It's exactly that extra effort to live life fully that differentiates the players from the observers. It takes a willingness to go in the unknown. It's easier to play it safe however is it worth the toll it takes on the consciousness if you have regret? As far as we know this is the only life we get. Do you want to play it safe and regret the things you didn't do or didn't say when you meet the end? Or, do you play full out meeting the end knowing that you did your very best through taking risks emotionally and physically? The truth is nothing is promised whether we take the safe route or not.

A lot of times the struggle comes down to logic vs intuition or head vs heart if you will. We may feel a tug to take a leap of faith. Maybe, starting a new business or selling our belongings to see the world or even simply saying "I love you". Then logic starts to speak inside our heads with "what if's" and lists of responsibilities. We can easily start to feel trapped thinking a lot and creating stories that are not relative to reality. We are capable of doing anything we put our mind too. Unfortunately a good portion of the time it takes a life changing event to get us into action whether it's a death or even new life. We look for an excuse to take a leap instead of trusting we can make it work.

Can you imagine the feeling of accomplishment of pure joy knowing that YOU did it?! Knowing that you took a chance on yourself and whether you succeed or fail is irrelevant because you owned it! That feeling is so much more powerful than saying, "__________ happened so I had to _________."

Today I encourage you take a look in the mirror and ask yourself are you living your life fully? Are you fulfilling your dreams? Are you making your mark in the world that way you always hoped to? If so great!! Continue to share it with the world and if not what are you going to do from here? Will you play it safe or take a leap?

Even if it's small shifts in living your life more adventurously its one step further than you were.

You'd be surprised out how acknowledging someone or saying I love you can shift your world to a more beautiful place.

What can you do to live your life adventurously today?

Integrity

Integrity... What does that mean to you?

I would say that most people would agree that someone with integrity is someone you can rely on their word.

Although, integrity can hold different meaning for each person. What may seem right to one person may feel wrong to another. That's when listening to your inner wisdom comes in handy.

I like to think of myself as someone who strives for complete integrity. Of course I fail sometimes, forgiveness of oneself is the key here. But what if you said you would do something and realize half way through that what you are doing is bad for your well being or doesn't meet your level of standards of integrity? Do you keep doing it because you said you would? Do you try and fix it?Or, do you quit all together?

These can be very confronting questions especially when you are conscious of the ripple effect you have when making choices.

Here are some questions an article in Yoga Journal (Wisdom by Sally Kempton) says to ask yourself when in this little pickle? I found them to be quite valuable...

1. What do the great wisdom teachers say?
2. What would a good person do?
3. What would give me the most joy in this situation?
4. How will this serve my highest desires and motivations?
5. What will align me with my true self?

I recently came face to face with a challenge within my own integrity. I had made a commitment with a colleague of mine and about one month of completion I realized it no longer served my highest self. I had complications with this commitment from the beginning but choose to continue any way simply because "I said I would" but by doing this I went against my highest self. At this point I knew my decision to quit would affect more than just my colleague. However, I still choose to walk away. Unfortunately it caused some conflict but I had to honor myself.

 Looking back I can see how I could have handled the situation more gracefully but ultimately I made my choice based on question #4 & #5 above. When handling matters of integrity it can be quite tricky but I feel that handling oneself with care and love in these matters is the most important. As we all know we are our own worst critic. We will all fail at some point regarding integrity and we cannot worry about what others will think or say about it. It comes down to how we handle ourselves during these difficult decisions while being 100% accountable for our actions.

What are some challenges you have faced inside the subject of your own integrity? How did you handle it? How have you grow from it?

Namaste

Dream It Real!

Dreaming it real. What does that mean? Can we really just dream something up and make it a reality? When we are young we are told we can be and do anything we want. We are encouraged to dream. Then the older we get the more discouraging others can be. Telling us to play it safe and some us listen.

A couple of years ago I was living in LA struggling to survive and dreaming up a dream. I used to look out my window of my Hollywood studio at the the ads for the Pantages theater. (the theater where all the off Broadway shows travel through). I would stare at those posters and think to myself. That's what I want...

"I want to perform on Broadway. I want to marry the love of my life. I want to have a family and live in a beautiful area near the beach. I want to be financially stable and travel the world. I want to live my dreams on the stage while maintaining a beautifully balanced life with my family."

Nothing in my life showed signs of this happening. I was working a job I didn't care for. A slave to my high rent and struggling as an artist.

Then one day I took a look around my apartment and though it was beautiful. It was a lie. I was surrounded by zen art and Buddhas along with  colorful worldly decorations. They were all things I aspired to be but was not. The truth was I was sad and lonely and lost. I chose right then and there to let go of everything I had. I sold all of my belongings and got a temporary home for my kitties until I figured out what to do and asked my friends if I could stay on their couches. I instinctively knew I had to let go of everything. Most people in my life were quite worried and although I was scared I pushed through. Two weeks before my lease on my apartment was up and I was selling the remaining of my belongings I received a call from a woman of whom was referred to me by a friend of mine to sing in her cabaret show. IN RUSSIA! We hit it off right away and 2 weeks later I was in Russia performing in a cabaret on a 3 day gig.

When they booked the air fare they asked me where I wanted to fly to when the gig was over. Some of the other band members were going to travel around Europe before going home. I said I've always wanted to go to Italy. They asked if I wanted to fly to Rome. I didn't wait to answer and blurted out "YES!" So there I was in Russia awaiting my new life's adventure in Italy. I took the little money I had and arrived in Rome.

There, I learned from other back packers how to backpack. I traveled up and down the west coast of Italy. I started in Rome  then headed to Florence then to Naples, Almafi Coast and Pompei. Then out the blue I got a calling within my gut to go back to Florence. I could feel something was there waiting for me. I booked a hostile for 4 days. Nothing happened so I booked a flight from Pisa for a few days later to Amsterdam where I would indefinitely teach yoga in Holland with some friends of mine. The night before I left I went out to a college bar with a group of friends I met at my hostile. It was at this bar I met the love of my life standing in line for a beer. (My husband!) We hit it off really well and went out the next night and then the next and then the next. The day before I was supposed to get on the plane to Amsterdam he and his friends asked me to stay. Needless to say, I did.

We fell madly in love. I had no intention of coming back to America at this point and started looking for Yoga teaching jobs in Florence. Just when I'm thinking "how am I gonna do this?" I get an email from a theater in SC on the beach saying they were referred by a friend of mine (same amazing friend that got me to Russia ) and that they would like for me to join the company singing full time in a show! I was confused what to do because I didn't want to be separated from my love but he encouraged me to go. He had faith we would work it out. Several months later I found myself  working in the theater, living on the beach, married to the love of my life, getting the kitties back and teaching yoga! And I get to travel to Italy every year!

(our 1 year anniversary :)

How's that for dreaming it real?!

I share this story with you to encourage you to dream and encourage you to listen to your intuition. Life is one big dream... Be creative and have fun!

I'm stilling dreaming and I still don't know how it's all going to fall into place but I do have faith that it will :)

Namaste

What's a Pelican Got To Do With You?

One of my favorite things to do is to get up early and walk on the beach. There is something so calming about the new days energy. It's as if any question I may have in life I find clarity in that space. The smell of the fresh sea air, the sound of birds and the waves crashing on the shore and feel of sand between my toes all contribute to the connection of my intuition.

As I was taking my walk on the beach I found such joy watching the group of pelicans that were on their morning hunt. They were so majestic as they swooped through the air together grazing just above the water each taking turns flying high into the air and diving into the water head first for fish.

How beautifully they worked together to hunt. As I investigated further into the pelican on Google I found that they not only hunt together to herd the fish for catching but they also share all the catchings with one another and males and females take turns keeping eggs warm.

The Pelican reminds us that we work best when we work together and to surround ourselves with the support of others that encourage you.

How can the lesson of the Pelican inspire your life?

No Complaints

As I posted last week when I'm not practicing on my mat I'm practicing off my mat with intention. You'd be surprised at how just setting one intention for the day will shift your perception.

Ahimsa (non violence) is a recurring practice for me. Earlier this week I saw this post on Facebook...

I choose to take it on. It just so happens to align perfectly with ahimsa.

Here's what I noticed... I noticed complaining even about the pettiest things like the weather being hot was a natural way to connect with others. I really had to start thinking about what I was going to say. Then I started to notice the more I thought about what I was going to say the more intention was behind it. I'd ask myself, is what I'm going to say beneficial and why do I want to say something? This innate awareness was shifting my being. If I wasn't going to complain about anything what was I going to say? I noticed all that was left was something positive to share. I also started to determine if a declaration like "its hot",  was speaking the truth or if I was complaining. I really had to take notice of the context behind my words. If I was unsure I didn't say it. Because of my intention to not complain I was hyper aware at how much those around me complain. Why do we do this so often? To connect. We all want to feel a part of the whole and that includes those around us. We all need to be loved and want to feel accepted. We may not always agree on things but by complaining we can connect that we all suffer. We can feel heard and also reach out to someone to be of help or be helped. It was incredible how one intention shifted so much perception.

I found compassion and humor in this way of connectedness and yet I didn't participate. I observed and remained in control of my words and actions all from "not complaining". It felt good. I felt free from the restrictiveness of complaints. I started to embrace "what is". Then... I found Santosha (contentment). I could physically feel my vibration of energy shift into the positive like magic.

I don't think there is anything wrong with venting every now and then but I feel having awareness of it is important to our emotional well being. 

Have I complained since then??

Sure, but my awareness has not left me. By making a commitment day by day we grow and we connect one step at a time. Awakening one moment at a time and when we fall we get up and start again.

Will you try this on for 24 hours and see how it affects you? :)

Yoga without a Pose

A lot of people originally are intrigued with yoga due to it's physical aspects. They may want to become more flexible or toned or maybe their Dr. recommend it as a sort of physical therapy. All in which are great ways to start yoga. But today I'd like to intrigue you with the more spiritual side; as Yoga is the connection between mind body and spirit. Each one affects the other.

Think about it... when you feel physically well you likely feel happier. When you feel happy your spirit lifts. You have a natural glow to you that shines on others. Now think about when you feel lethargic or upset and how quite the opposite happens within you and those around you. You are a constant vibration and you have the control not the other way around. Yoga is a practice to hone these skills on the mat and in your life. 

Today I'd like to talk about a couple other yoga practices we can take into our daily lives without the practice of asana (the physical practice).

The Yamas and Niyamas

Yama in Sanskrit mean restraint. Niyama means observances. These are considered to be the "do's" and "don'ts" in order to live a spiritual life.

The 5 Yamas
Ahimsa (restraint from doing harm/non-violence)
Satya (truthfulness)
Asteya (restraint from stealing)
Brahmacharya (avoidance of sexual exploitation)
Aparigraha (non-possessiveness or greed)

The 5 Niyamas
Shaucha (purity)
Santosha (contentment)
Tapas (spiritual austerities)
Swadhyaya (self and scriptural study)
Ishwarapranidhana (surrender or the devotion to God)

I know this can be a lot to take in at once so what I like to do is pick one or two a day and use them as a daily intention. Practicing one day at a time.

Ahimsa (restraint from doing harm/non violence) has been a daily practice for me recently. How do I take this on you wonder?

A few ways I take this on...

 Compassion with myself - when I get upset or when I recognize my own lack of integrity. Sometimes it's easier to handle someone else with compassion than it is ourselves. So this is a great practice using the intention of Ahimsa. ( I also find the more I practice this with myself the better I am with others)

Honoring the body and other beings -  having mindfulness with food I eat and products I buy. I read the labels of my products to look for "not tested on animals" as well as what is in the product as to not hurt myself or my family. My husband eats meat so I try to buy meat locally and/or meat that doesn't use antibiotics or hormones and are fed the proper diet. Remember what we put into our body is also a practice of Ahimsa. (non harm to ourselves). 

Respect for the planet -  making the effort to recycle even when our community doesn't have a system by separating our trash and taking it to the recycle center once a week. (non harm to the planet)

Granted I'm not perfect that's why this is a practice. Doing what we can little by little creates awareness and compassion.

As far as the Niyamas go I have been practicing Santosha (contentment)

As a human being our need for more seems endless. I know for myself I have realized several of my dreams and am currently living in exactly what I created. It's beautiful and wonderful but the desire for wanting more can create suffering. By practicing gratitude and contentment with what is relieves that desire and allows me to be present with the gift of now. Of course I fail at this sometimes but having the mindfulness of this intention brings be back to the present which brings me back Santosha (contentment)

I encourage you to pick one or two and practice this yoga in your daily lives and see how it shifts your perception and your heart along with those around you.

Come together and share what you will take on and the results it has.



Namaste