Pause

Ever take a moment to pause life and look around in the moment?

In Yoga we teach to become present to what is, being the breath, the mind, the body or how one is feeling. When we practice this daily it starts to shift our every day life as we become ever present to the moment that is. It's absolute magic when you can consciously pause in the moment to take it all in.

Last night was my last show in the production I have been in for the last two years. Each number I performed I consciously took it in allowing myself to enjoy what I was doing where I was doing it. The lights shined bright, the music was loud. The energy of the crowd was high and so the was the cast's. I tapped into how my body felt as I danced across the stage and how my soul felt as I sang my heart out. I even enjoyed watching my cast mates do the same thing. A lot of the time I don't pay particular attention to what they are doing or how they are doing it but last night I did. It was beautiful.

We all go to the theater night after night performing the same show. Muscle memory plays a big part when repeating each night but every now and then the right combination of elements come together the divine will come through one of us as we perform. We live for the thrill of being on stage even if it means having to smile through the hard times. Death was ever present over the last 2 years as cast members lost family and experienced  injuries but we all pushed through smiling through the pain. The crowd would never know since it's our job to help them forget theirs and we are happy to do so. Even those moments I was able to pause to look around and acknowledge just how strong performers are.

When I first started this gig I had the same moments of pause as I became present to "I'm living my dream". It was during the production of "My Way" by Frank Sinatra that allowed that moment of reflection. Last night as I sang it for the last time I was able to acknowledge I am about to embark on a new journey and that I can say goodbye to this chapter with peace. I enjoyed the colors, the sounds, the smells, the people and the feeling. It was magic.


When was the last time you took a moment to pause and experienced something beautiful? I would be so grateful to hear from you!

The Odd Duck in the Room

Day 6 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge (www.alexbeadon.com)

It's October. I'm eighteen. I have 2 garbage bags full of clothes and few personal items packed in my blue 89' Chevy S10. My cat Paige is sitting on top of the seat bathing in the sun as I drive away from my tiny town in MI for the glitz and glam of Las Vegas. Everyone had their bets in as to when I would call home crying and turn around to come home. I couldn't help but laugh at them because I knew that was never going to happen. I was tougher than they thought and I was out to prove it.

I arrived in the shiny city after midnight three days later. I was exhausted from sleeping in my truck for two nights since I wanted to save money. After all I only had $800 to create my life 2000 miles away from home. Luckily I had already paid for my first months rent for the apartment I was now trying to find.

As I drove up to my new home and took a look around I realized it wasn't in the best of areas. The woman I spoke to over the phone a month earlier clearly lied to me to get the sale. Since I didn't have the keys yet I had to sleep one more night in the parking lot. This time in the ghetto.

Fast forward... I have been living there almost two months. I was lucky enough to find a job right away at a metaphysical bookstore called the Psychic Eye where I set up appointments for the Phychic's and did retail for the store. I only made $5.75 an hour but I loved it. I studied a lot and left every day smelling like Nag Champa incense. 

I was running out of money fast and my job wasn't cutting it. It was time to get into action with why I had come here. In the mean time I was starving, surviving on ritz crackers with peanut butter and jelly and Ramen Noodles. Of course, I was too proud to ask for help. I had no idea how to find auditions since the newspaper was clearly not it considering all the "performer" jobs in the classifieds were for a different kind of dancer if you know what I mean. So, I took it into my own hands and called every hotel on the strip with a show in it asking the front desk to put me through to HR. Once I got a hold of someone there I would ask to speak to the person in charge of the show in their hotel. Interesting enough this was quite effective. I booked three auditions that day.

The  producer of Jubilee (one of the biggest showgirl shows on the strip) gave me a date and time for my first audition and told me to come with hair and makeup ready dressed in proper attire. The audition was a few days later at 10am. I drove to the nearest dance attire store and told the man at the counter I was auditioning for Jubilee and needed the proper dance wear. "Where you from kid?' , the man asked. He obviously could tell I was inexperienced and not from around here. "Michigan", I replied. He just smiled while shaking his head and proceeded to hand me the "proper attire" for my first big audition. "Here ya go".

I looked down to see a tiny thong, a bra top and fishnets. "That's it?!" I replied.
"yup", he said. He was an older gentleman of few words. As I continued to look around I found a traditional black ballet leotard that would cover my belly and booty. "what about this?, I asked. He just shook his head again. It was plain to see the answer was no but I got it any way along with his suggestion using up the last of my money.

Fast forward again... I'm at the audition located inside the Jubilee theater. It's enormous and the stage is the biggest I've ever seen. The isles are filled with gorgeous 5'10" girls in their thongs, bras and character heels and full hair and makeup. I had no idea I would have needed eye lashes so big they would blow in the wind. They were all stretching and practicing their extensions that reached far above their heads. I observed and joined in as I stretched in my own little corner of the room. I was very aware I was in over my head and to top it off I chose not to wear the thong and bra that were suggested to me. Instead I went with the full leotard. I felt like the odd duck in the room but still I held my head high and pretended I had done this before.

The first routine the dance captain taught was a ballet routine. I had only taken ballet for about three weeks so I strictly mimicked what they were doing not having a clue as to what they were saying. Surprisingly they kept me for the second call. For those they kept, we had to chaine across the stage, kick high and land in full splits. Again, I observed the girls in front of me glide across the stage spinning in an almost never ending turn, kicking high as they approached the other side of the stage and land in full splits. Considering I didn't even know what a chaine was until I was asked to do it I did pretty damn well doing exactly what it was that they asked. To my surprise they kept me a second time. The thrid routine was a sexy dance to Moulan Rouge. I thought I did pretty well but it was after that the producers finally cut me from the audition.

I'm not sure if they kept me just to see how far the weird girl could go, or if they kept me simply because I'm tall with big boobs or if I had actually done a good job but that was the beginning of my Vegas journey that would ultimately last eight years performing in shows and casinos. I eventually realized I wasn't a dancer. I was and always have been a singer but at the time I'd rather use use up all my resources, dance in a thong and make a fool of myself than sing in front of a crowd because to sing they wouldn't just see my body. They would see my soul.

Helpful Tip of The Day

Day 5 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge (www.alexbeadon.com)

Helpful Tip of the Day...

Do you find yourself feeling like you don't have enough time in the day? Do you find yourself stressed to achieve something in a short amount of time?

Here's the key..

Manage your time and make it into a game! This may seem simple enough because it is. It may take a little getting used to at first if your not used to it but once you get into the habit of it I promise it will change the way you look at time.

You'd be surprised how much time you have left to spare. Here's what you do.

Set a time limit for everything you do and stick to it. If you need to clean the house, run an errand or even do something creative, give yourself a time frame to finish. I've found when there is a time limit the more strategic I become. If you don't finish forgive yourself and move on or if you MUST, reorganize your time management to make it work. The idea is to make it into a game. Have fun while trying to complete your tasks under a time limit.

I know when I'm extremely busy teaching classes and running errands I can forget to eat so I will even schedule in meal breaks or rest breaks just to make sure I am taking care of myself and balancing things out. For the mommy's out there... you know what I'm talking about. Make sure you schedule alone time, even if it's five minutes to just breath.

Every time I have managed my time down to the minute I have found I can do much more than what I thought. At the end of the day I feel accomplished and content.

Start today and see what a difference managing your time down to the minute makes for you!

Let's Get Intimate

Day 4 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge by (www.alexbeadon.com)

10 Things You May Not Know About Me...

1. Aside from being in love with yoga and it's benefits I teach to remain present to the lessons I've learned other wise it's easy to fall back into old habits that don't serve me. 

2. I have a good habit of listening to my intuition but what people don't know is that even though I listen I'm still always scared. I cry when no one is around and pray I'm making the right choice. Even though it has never failed to work out in the end I still doubt myself. I just push through the fear.

3. I treat every interaction with the ones I love like it's going to be the last. I always make sure to say I love you and if there is an upset that it's resolved before I go. I've lost many friends at a young age to drugs, car accidents, suicide and even murder. I wasn't complete with all of them. I even had unresolved arguments with the one that was taken most tragically. I vowed to never let that happen again.

4. Death scares me. The fear of it has ruled my life even at a very young age. Making sure I live full. Making sure I have no regrets. Making sure those I love know I love them. This sounds great and it is but the fear of death is still profound.

5.  I relate to being more introverted. Although I'm a performer and very comfortable with being around people and having attention on me I need my time alone to "recharge" after a lot of interaction with others. I can spend days alone without human contact and be perfectly content.

6. I have dreams of having a full vegetable and herb garden but struggle keeping even the most simple plants alive.

7. I love fire hydrants! I think they look like little aliens and I enjoy taking pictures of them in every city I visit. I find that they are painted all kinds of unique ways.

8.I sing and/or dance when ever I'm feeling a strong emotion whether I'm happy or sad. I usually do this alone and have since I was a little girl. My life has always been a bit of a musical.

9. I feel and express love through physical touch and quality time.

10. Although I use my blog to communicate through vulnerability by sharing my stories and lessons this challenge was still confronting.

Your turn! Tell me some things about you... :)

A "Time Out" For Adults

Day 3 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge (www.alexbeadon.com)

Daily Meditation Tutorial

Before I start, let me point out this is a practice. It's a practice for anyone no matter what culture or religious background you may have. It's what I like to call a "time out" for adults.

First of all you need to have a space that is just for you when you want to meditate. I suggest pick a spot that is quiet and comfortable for you. I always sit on my back porch. I like to hear the rustling of the trees in the breeze and birds chirping. It's my happy place.

Second find a comfortable seat. You can sit in a chair or cross legged on the floor or on your knees. Sometimes I like to sit cross legged against a wall. It helps keep me sit upright without a lot of work. Your choice. Just make sure your comfortable.

As you find your seat sit up tall lengthening the spine while sending the crown of the head to the sky and allow the eyes to gently fall closed.

Once you are there you want to connect. So, check into the body first. Scan it mentally from head to toe to become present to what is there. Maybe your body feels tired or strong. Do you have any kinks or aches or pains. While your scanning become present to the way your body feels but don't dwell on it. Simply recognize it then let it go.

After you have become present of your physical body start to check into the mind. Recognize where your mental state is. Is it busy, loud or chatty. Is it calm, quiet or still? Again, wherever you are just recognize the thoughts and let them go. Our mind likes to latch on to thoughts and take us for a ride by creating stories so be present enough to not follow them. I like to think of thoughts as ocean waves crashing on the shore coming and going. Sometimes I even like to imagine putting my thoughts into bubbles and watch them float on by. Do whatever works for you.

 Once you have become present to the mind and body focus your attention on your breath. Again, don't change your breath just become present to where it is naturally is in the moment. Is is deep or shallow? Be mindful that there is nothing to do here but breath natural and recognize it. Do this for at least five breaths before moving on.

After you have become present to your breath consciously start to deepen the breath. Take a few deep breaths in the nose and out the mouth. This helps to calm the body a bit further. Then give your breath a count. Inhale 1-2-3-4-5 Exhale 1-2-3-4-5. Repeat this at least five times or as long as you like. When we focus on the count of our breath there is no room for any other thoughts. This work is gently calming the nervous system and the mind.

When you feel done with the breath work allow yourself to just be. Continue to sit there sitting upright with your eyes closed. Sitting still can be quite a challenge for some. It's perfectly natural to want to move or feel that there are things to get done. Your mind may wonder. Let it. Then see if you can catch it and come back to the present moment. Maybe tune in the the sounds around you.

 I suggest setting an alarm on your phone for 5 minutes to start. Then maybe you want to up it to 10 minutes or 20 minutes. Each time you sit to meditate the experience will be different. Why? Because each time you sit down you are different. Our emotional and physical state are in constant fluctuation. By meditating we bring ourselves back to center.

Toward the end of your practice create an intention for the rest of your day. Maybe it's love or compassion. It could be patience or curiosity. Set what feels right for you in the moment. I like to set this intention toward the end of meditation because I am more in tuned with what I need. I can hear my intuition clearer.  

Keep in mind you may not feel instant results. It's a practice which means it takes time. Don't feel you have to do 20-30 minutes to be successful. Just by taking 5 or 10 minutes to center yourself and "just be" that's all you need. If you're one of those people that say "I don't have 5 or 10 minutes to just sit down!". You may be in need of it the most.

I suggest picking what time works best for you and stick to it like ritual. I like to sit in the morning when I wake up. I find it's a good way start to my day. Again, do what works for you.

Happy meditation and Namaste!

The Story Behind My Passion

Day 2 of The Feel Good Blogger Challenge (www.alexbeadon.com)

Self development and Yoga... They are one in the same really but I didn't know that seven years ago. They both came into my life at the same time and forever changed my life.

Let me give you a little background...

I've always been sensitive by nature even empathic if you will and I'll admit even dramatic. Guess that's why the arts have always been in my path. However, this sensitive nature didn't always serve me well because I always took things to heart. Sure there were other circumstances along the way that led me to believe I wasn't good enough but ultimately it was my choice to believe so. I suffered from depression, erratic emotional behavior and substance abuse. Constantly up and down never really being able to grip my grounding.

 Fast forward I'm in a relationship that I care about but find myself behaving inside these old habits. See, I believed if I had found someone that loved me all of these things would naturally fall away. So why was I still acting this way?

I started practicing yoga at my gym hoping the so called magical properties everyone was talking about would somehow "zen" me out. I went to my first class with high hopes and hated every minute of it. I thought I must DO something. I wasn't comfortable sitting still. I felt like I should be running or biking or doing something fast. I'm naturally flexible and athletic and didn't find the class I was in to be physically challenging enough. When the class ended I didn't plan on going back. I went in thinking it would calm me and left finding myself even more frustrated. After careful discussion with the friend that encouraged me to go in the first place I decided I would try another teacher.

 I went to a new class later that week and fell in love with the instructor. She taught Ashtanga Yoga which is a more athletic form of yoga. It was the physical practice I longed for while slowly connecting the self development work within. I started practicing 3-4 times a week. I remember the first time I did an arm balance pose. It took me three months. I was so proud of myself. It was then I really connected to, "anything worth it takes time and practice". My mind started to slow down and I was able to observe.

In the mean time even though something was opening up for me inside of my yoga practice I still couldn't quite take a hold of my emotional reactions. There was a deep hurt inside. I convinced myself there was something chemically wrong with me and since I'm smart I researched the internet to find similar cases so that I could go to the doctor and tell them I was bi-polar. Since there is no actual test for this just your word the Dr. didn't hesitate to give me medication. Looking back I think, "that was dangerous!"

These drugs alternate the chemical levels in your brain. The test for the which medication would be the right one was trial and error. I went through 3 medications before finding the one that made me the least sick or anxious or numb but taking medication brought on a whole new set of problems in my life. Not to mention myself and my relationship was still suffering.

Just as my relationship was about to end and I was on the self hatred train yet again a friend shared with us The Landmark Forum. It's a three day seminar that promises to awaken you to live a life you love by attaining what ever breakthroughs one wishes to have in life. I was very skeptical. I thought, I had tried everything. I  had already quit drinking and smoking. I had changed all of my friends, I practiced yoga, I read self development books and I still was getting the same results from broken feelings. How was this going to change my life in only three days?


Well, it did. I got my life back. For the first time in my life I had 100% accountability. It took some work after the seminar to clean up my life and I started with my family. I had blamed my circumstances and others for how I had turned out. When I was able to let go of the hurt and be accountable for how I handled each situation without blame, my life turned around. I stopped taking medication and have never needed to return to it. I got that I am perfect whole and complete just as I am. I continued my work with Landmark for 4 years after that. Each year becoming more connected to those in my life and getting more related to my family which made the world of difference. The better my relationship to my parents the better relationship to relationships I had.

The initial relationship I went to fix lasted a few more years until we peacefully broke it off to let one another go so that we could have what we really wanted. I wanted to travel and find someone who shared the same dream of having a family.Which I can say I successfully achieved as I now live happily married after meeting my husband on my travels in Italy and we are creating our life to make space for a little one.

During my years of training in self development with Landmark Education I also received my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training Certification. As I got deeper into my yoga practice over the years I realized Asana (the physical practice of yoga) is but a small portion of yoga. It's merely a tool to connect within for deeper meditation and connection to oneself and the universe.

The combination of this self work lead to a lifestyle that I love, adore and cherish. I realized the work I did in seminars and the work I did in yoga class were one in the same. They both taught the same principles but in different ways. The tools I have learned have saved my life and have helped me create a life I am truly passionate about. Because of this I have made it my life's work to share my learning's with others through yoga and other tools so that they too can connect and live a life they love. Of course I am still learning and growing but that's the beauty of it!

Namaste 


"Give back what you've learned. Share your experience." -Deng Ming-Dao

"Be the change you want to see." - Ghandi

Let's Get Related

Hi Everyone,
Today I am posting Day 1 of the Feel Good Blogger Challenge (alexbeadon.com). I am super excited to be a part of this community and looking forward to what opens up over the next 7 days. I normally post once a week like a column so posting daily will be a stretch for me but I love a challenge. Anything worth it takes work.

The first challenge post is to answer these 5 questions... I love these questions since it really gives new readers an opportunity to get to know who I am and what I'm about.So, let's get related!

1. Who am I?
At first I found this question challenging because my first reaction is to respond with what I do. I'm a blogger, yoga practitioner, yoga teacher, singer and world traveler. However if you strip all of this away I am still here. My essence my being is still here. So, looking at it from a more philosophical point of view I am everything/nothing. We are all interconnected which makes me everything and I am the space for which it's created equaling nothing. If I am everything/nothing I can be anything I want to be at any given moment. So, I declare you today I am love, compassion, inspiration and generosity and that's who I am.

2. Why did I start blogging?
Originally I started blogging as an outlet. As a performer I am always on stage but another passion of mine is self development and since I am constantly on the "self development train" I thought why not share what I've learned with others. It started as a hobby and although it still is it's also a way to connect to a greater community as a yoga teacher.

3. Who is this blog for?
This blog is for anyone that could use a dose of inspiration or "food for thought" to connect to themselves and live life full.

4. What am I currently most proud of?
Right now, I am most proud of how I have incorporated yogic principles into my everyday life. I've come down a long and rocky road and through lots of practice with these tools I can say I am able to handle my life with ease and grace as life is handed to me. I'm not perfect and I fail sometimes but I am proud of the confidence I have built to handle difficult or stressful situations.

5. What do I want viewers to walk away with?
For anyone that visits my blog I want them to walk away feeling inspired to live their life happy and full.

Defining Success

Someone once said "The life you live is the lesson you teach".

I couldn't agree more. This lesson however hasn't always been in the forefront of my mind as I've gone through life.  I haven't always thought of the trickle affect my actions and reactions have had on others. Only through experience and attained  humbled wisdom have I found accountability.

Recently my little sister (who's not so little anymore) called me to tell me she is writing a paper for her college course on an inspirational figure in her life and that she wanted to write it on me. She could have chosen a number of people in her life even a celebrity but to my surprise she choose me.

She told me I have always been there for her and always had the right thing to say to help her through her problems. She said the way I took chances in life and stepped through fear and rejection time and again inspired her and that she honored how I create my life even when others tell me it's not possible.

Her acknowledgment was so powerful I couldn't help but shed a few tears. I knew my little sister looked up to me but never to that degree. After hearing her talk about the influence I have on her life I couldn't help but think this is what success looks like.

For a long time I thought being famous and winning awards would make me successful. I even thought becoming rich would make me successful but after attaining a very small taste of my "so called" success I realized if I wasn't happy then there was no real success. I thought that alone was a breakthrough but after talking with my sister I truly understood that great success is positively affecting another person's life for the better. There is something even more beautiful about that person being family. I've always had a passion for this but hearing it from my sister touched me deeper than any other person I have helped before. It was exactly what I needed to hear as I am transitioning in life yet again. For that I am extremely grateful but even more than that,  knowing that I have been an influential figure in my little sisters life I can rest knowing I am already successful.


What does success look like to you and who can you acknowledge today?

The Unique That Is You

Have you ever been in a place where you feel that you don't belong? I know I have (many times).

 It started when I was small. My parents moved me from my tiny town to a broken city in MI. Although it wasn't until middle school I experienced prejudice for the first time. I was a tall, skinny white girl that developed early with a big nose. I was constantly made fun of until I decided "if I cant beat em', join em'"

 I added self tanner to my pale skin, braided my hair tightly, lined my lips in brown eyeliner and lined my eyes like a cat with black. I wore baggy close, pretended to smoke Newport cigarettes, talked a lot of trash and purposely got into trouble to go to detention. I was a good girl that got good grades and very insecure but being my nice self wasn't going to work in this school unless I wanted to get bullied. It was then my super "chameleon power" developed. I learned how to adapt to any environment (and I've moved a lot) by blending in . At least that's what I thought.

The truth is I seem to stick out like a sore thumb where ever I go. Eventually I learned to harness that by being a performer. Which is great however being a performer came with a whole new set of confrontations. Like, "How do I stand out from the rest of the unique performers so I get the job?"
 Which is interesting because we are already a group of people that stand out in a crowd but when gathered together we have to look even more "original". Which in return a person can find themselves very lost in who they are and the soul searching begins again.

My whole life seems to have been a battle to fit in while all the while rebelling that notion. Talk about an oxymoron!

But here's the real deal. Not everyone is going to like you. Some people may even be vindictive to you along the way. There will always be someone gossiping about you and you cannot please everyone. There are always going to be others that disagree with your point of view and there will always be people that want to see you fail. Yes this can hurt feelings but in the end you are the ultimate judge of yourself and most of the time our inner judge is way worse than anyone else can be.

We hear this as children.. Just be yourself. Unfortunatly that can get lost in translation as we grow into young adults trying to find our way and feel accepted. Even grown adults struggle with this. We all want to be accepted with open arms and feel loved. No matter what gender, race, or cultural background.

So next time you feel you don't fit in remember underneath it all we all suffer and we all want love. Therefore you fit in perfectly. So let your uniqueness shine bright no matter where you are. Give what you have to give and honor the uniqueness and light in others even if their actions or words seem to be poisonous. Any time a person lashes out it's because they too are hurting and if that person is you... forgive yourself, show yourself love and start over.



I'm not going to lie to you. All of this is much easier said than done. It's a practice just like yoga. We will all fall especially when trying something new. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
We are all inherently imperfect perfect beings. Just keep practicing and being the uniqueness that is you!