The Art of Giving and Recieving

When is the last time you received something and allowed yourself to actually receive it?

This week I observed and noticed many of us have a lot to learn in how to receive. Whether it be a compliment, a favor or help.

 While out and about a beautiful friend of mine received many compliments from our friends stating how pretty and young she looked. She replied uncomfortably laughing and brushed it off. "Aww, thanks guys but my hair is a mess and I have circles under my eyes. I don't feel pretty." Everyone then proceeded to convince her. I couldn't help but think, "is she fishing for a compliment?" and if so, why can't she accept it?

Later in the week another friend of mine ran into some serious health problems. I was told she took herself to the emergency room and had to rest for the next three days. I was shocked to hear this news because the last time I saw her she showed no signs of being in pain. Now let me just state, this woman is one of the most generous, kind and loving people I know. She goes out of her way to show love and kindness to others and never expects anything in return. But when she needs help she doesn't request it and refuses it when it's being graciously given. She is so loved, why won't she accept the help?

I mention my friends not to judge them but because I too have been in situations like this and these experiences I feel are relate able to others as well.

I consciously practice the art of receiving but even I struggle at times to receive the compliments and help from others.  Several weeks back I was pretty sick. A few friends and colleges offered if there was anything they could do to let them know. I found myself thinking, "that's just something people say". I said thank you but I didn't need anything. Then a friend text me and said, "I make the best soup for healing when your sick. Want me to make you some?" My first thought was no. I didn't want someone to go out of the way for me. But why? She offered. So instead of declining, I accepted her offer. Let me tell you, I'm glad I did and I am so grateful for her generosity.  It really was a delicious healing soup!

 On the other side of the coin is giving. I may be wrong here but I feel like most people just want to help and make a difference. We all want to give. After all, when we make someone happy we make ourselves happy. Maybe this is why it's easier to give than receive. However when we give, are we giving freely or expecting something in return?

To give freely we have no attachment to the outcome. We give to give and that makes us happy. When we give to receive something back we set ourselves up for disappointment when it doesn't meet our expectations. We are all guilty of this somewhere and that's fine. After all we are human.

I love to give to others and make them feel good. I love to encourage people and acknowledge people but even I am guilty of having expectations of how someone should receive it. I recently gave a card of acknowledgment  to a friend that helped me. I felt so good doing this until I didn't receive a thank you for my thank you. Pretty funny huh? I had to look at what was going on inside me. Why did I give the card in the first place? Was it to look good or did I genuinely mean it? After careful consideration of my feelings and upset I came to the conclusion it was my ego that needed acknowledgment not me.  She's an attention hog to say the least. I found compassion for myself to let it go and allowed myself to graciously give my gratitude with nothing in return.

 When is the last time you gave something to another and how carefree were you about the result?

This week I encourage you to do one good deed a day and not tell anyone about it. Allow yourself to get creative with this. Maybe it's cleaning the office or sending flowers to someone or baking cookies or a thank you card ect. It could be folding your significant others clothes or cleaning up after someone else. The gesture can be simple or elaborate. You will know what to do when it's time.

 Enjoy the happiness giving freely gives you. And, don't forget to allow yourself to receive when someone else is giving to you whether it be a compliment, a favor, a gift or help. We are all in this together. Let's give, love and receive with grace and ease.


Namaste